Are you a beautiful, smart, and driven woman, but you’re still single for some reason? When you’re too intimidating or too much for most men, settling down seems to be a distant dream.
Yet, if you look around, strong women like you still get married to men who appreciate and find your traits attractive. But still, knowing that doesn’t help the endless waiting game to meet the “right guy.”
For a Successful Woman, Finding a Partner Is Harder
People encourage women to be ambitious and well-educated but then expect them to play a submissive role in a relationship.
Building relationships then becomes tougher as it takes a confident person not to be intimidated, and capable women are still scary for a majority of men. Men have to develop a stronger sense of self to appreciate and admire strong women instead of being threatened by them. There’s also a need to redefine masculinity so that a man doesn’t need to be controlling or dominant just to feel worthy.
What You Can Do
If you want to know what you can do to find love without compromising who you are, dating coach evanmarckatz has spent years helping smart and successful women like you. So take these dating tips to heart.
1. Improve your online dating profile
When you create your dating profile, most of it should be about you, and then the remaining is what you want in a partner. Your goal to date shouldn’t be to attract everyone but to find the right one for you.
For your profile photo, you’d want to look natural and friendly. Unfortunately, mirror selfies often portray an air of vanity. The best profile shots are the ones that have vibrant shades and grab attention without showing too much skin.
2. Date smart
You’re a smart woman, so date that way. Don’t waste your first date chasing after guys that don’t have future potential. You’ll only end up having contradicting views, which isn’t a formula for a long-term relationship.
Never feel obligated to pursue a relationship with someone who doesn’t share the same values. You should be able to walk away, even if you’ll be walking alone for a while before you find love.
3. Treat the relationship like a job
Every relationship will take time and attention, and you need to be as serious about it as much as your career. Build good relationship habits like compromise and flexibility. Be open to guys that ask you out but avoid the “absent boyfriend” who stays at the office till late at night and seldomly returns calls.
If you don’t want your relationship to be always about “too busy right now,” don’t model your behavior on it and make time. You can set rules for dates and relationships, like:
- Set a maximum number of people to meet
How many options love interests can you handle? if you start looking beyond what you can handle, you’ll start looking for reasons to say “no,” even if it’s as unreasonable as ‘He has ugly shoes.’ Set a maximum number of people to date, talk in person, then take a break.
- Lay deal-breakers
Once you get to know the person and end up liking him, you start to tolerate him. That’s okay because nobody’s perfect. However, you should always have a limit. Most women want someone hot and can make them laugh, but that shouldn’t be a priority — focus on your needs like consistent communication and mutual respect.
- Allow three dates
There’s no ‘chemistry’ during the first meeting? Don’t give up just yet. Note that chemistry doesn’t last very long. Although attraction is important for a couple, meeting someone that meets your needs, you’ll soon find that attraction follows.
4. Don’t rush
Life is not a race, and even if you haven’t found the man who’s willing to win your heart, yours is still worth winning. So don’t take your skills, personality, or talents lightly and rush to find someone just cause you feel left out.
When you get matches, focus on how you feel and not on the package, although it can be a bit hard to ignore when it’s so beautifully wrapped. You know what you need in your life and in a man, so don’t fall for just a mere face with no substance.
5. Don’t do everything just because you can
Even if you’re more capable than the man you’re dating, letting him help you is a way to honor him and let him love you. It’s not taking away your identity as a smart and strong lady. You can have both: a career you love and a man who’s proud of your success.
Keep in mind, a man doesn’t fall in love with you because you’re the boss of a leading company, traveled the world, or been on TV. Instead, he falls in love with you because of the connection he feels with you, which he never felt with other women.
You Decide How Your Story Goes
The dating scene continuously changes through the years, and so should you. Whether you’re a first-timer or a seasoned dater, you need to adapt and search strategically. But even if you’ve had a series of bad relationships, your story is entirely up to you.
You write your story by allowing and preventing people in your life. Once you start taking more responsibility for things in your dating life and blame people less, you learn the most about how relationships work at a deeper and more sustainable level.